NEWS FLASH: People With Stupid Ideas Act Stupidly

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A week ago, I read an article that put me in a foul mood.  It was about a bill that Ugandans were considering that would execute homosexuals.  Yes, you heard that right.  People were going to kill other people for liking their best friends a little too much.

What was more disturbing about this story was that the bill coincidentally materialized after a number of visits by Christian evangelicals who preached on the dangers of homosexuality.  Of course, now those people are taking a step back, and are adamant that their message of intolerance was never intended to translate into violence.  Surprise, surprise, stupid people, evil spreads further than you intend it to.  When you use words like, “Gay marriage will destroy families” to a culture that fiercely defends those families, your stupid threat is unfortunately taken seriously.

Some people ask me, “Dr. Matt, if you’re not gay, why do you write so much about gay people?”  Well, I’m bothered by anything stupid, and institutional prejudice against gay relationships is one of the stupidest things in American society.  Now, if you’re reading this blog post or listening to this podcast some time in the future, it’s possible that the Gay Emancipation Proclamation has been drafted by President Palin Ryan Reynolds Al Franken, and anti-gay marriage laws have been abolished forever.  In that case, let me explain the ruckus of the early twenty-first century to you.

Gay people said, “Hey, we’d like to marry.”

Stupid  people said, “Um, no, homosexuality is against my religion.”

Gay people said, “Whether or not something is against your religion cannot be the basis of law.”

Stupid people: “Fine, we’ll consider civil unions or something like that.”

Gays: “No, we want marriage.  Like you have, only involving love and probably hotter sex.”

Stupids: “Well, what the heck?  First black people want to use the whole bus, and now you want the full word ‘marriage?’  Anyway, forget it, because it’s unfair that we would have to redefine ‘marriage.'”

Gays: “Redefine it?  How?”

Stupids: “Sort of like we had to redefine public transit, which was a relationship between one bus and one white person.  Ask Carrie Prejean, she’ll explain.  As the beauty pageeant contestant said: ‘No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.’  Anyway, ‘marriage’ could no longer mean two people who are committed to each other who aren’t gay.”

Gays: “It doesn’t mean that.  You just made that up.”

Stupids: “Well, when you run things you can make stuff up to.  Now go away… unless you want to meet for dinner while my wife is away?”

Anyway, person from the future, it was a whole pile of stupidness, and hopefully it’s done by now, but on the other hand, if all stupidity ends everywhere, then I won’t have much to talk about.  So, instead, let’s hope that people end up at mildly stupid instead of where they are now, which is dangerously stupid.

Just My Thoughts,
Dr. Matt*

*Dr. Matt is not a real doctor.

Dr. Matt

Dr. Matt* gives advice on relationships, life, death, half-life, pet ownership, sexuality, asexuality, proto-sexuality, and mustache growing. * Dr. Matt is not a real doctor.

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