Your Fatness Is Keeping You From Stuff

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Folks, I read a recent article that said what you probably already knew, that parents love their fat kids less.  Now, the article admitted that parents probably don’t know this, but their actions said it all.  When it came to the fat child, they were less likely to help pay for college or university, and less likely to buy the fat teen a car, even if they might do so for their thinner children.  Couple that with the fact that a child who is much more overweight than their siblings is probably influenced by genetics, considering they were raised with the same diet, and you might have a bit of an unfair situation.

Of course, bias against the fat does not end in your childhood.  Apparently, fat men can earn 2.6% less than their thin counterparts, and for fat white women, it can be up to 6.2% less, making them probably one of the most disadvantaged people in the workplace.  They’ve got a glass ceiling that you can only reach by climbing a glass staircase.

The long and short, or the short and squat rather, is that your fatness is keeping you from stuff.  Folks, don’t take that info and, if you’re Fatty McFatterson, use it to beat yourself up.  You see, with the epidemic of obesity, thin people are becoming more and more of a commodity.  That means you can easily manipulate this system of bias to your own advantage by dropping some pounds.

Yes, I know it isn’t easy, especially if you’re the fat sibling and you feel like your own body has, in the past, worked against you.  But it’s time to tell your body to get in line because you’re about to take back the country of You from the Thin Man, who has been oppressing you and keeping you from your stuff, like college money and a free car.

The best part is that this coup d’état will be easily achieved.  You see, thin people don’t know how much stuff they’re already getting.  They take it for granted that they’ll make more in salaries, or get more sex or love or praise.  But when you become thin after a lifetime at the fat table, then it’ll feel to you like being showered with gifts.  6.2% more income, here you come!

Should this be the case?  No.  Am I supporting such a system of bias?  No, I’m simply acknowledging that it exists, and much like what I said to a fan about being a snappy dresser, you can use this knowledge to your advantage.  It probably exists for evolutionary reasons, but who cares?  The important part is that fat is keeping you from your stuff, and it’s time to move that barrier out of the way.

I wish you the best of luck, and that I could join you, but unfortunately I’m only slightly chubby and not really fat at all like you people.

Just My Thoughts,
Dr. Matt*

* Dr. Matt is not a real doctor.

Dr. Matt

Dr. Matt* gives advice on relationships, life, death, half-life, pet ownership, sexuality, asexuality, proto-sexuality, and mustache growing. * Dr. Matt is not a real doctor.

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