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Yesterday, I was sitting on a bench with Brian, a guy that I recently met up with to play racquetball.  The community centre where I played had actually connected us, but so far I wasn’t totally enjoying Brian’s company, and he had a crappy backhand.

Anyway, Brian had been talking on and on about Jennifer, his ex-girlfriend.  I had played Brian enough to know that Jennifer was a favorite topic of his.
“Can you believe it?” Brian said, shaking his head.  ”She breaks up with me, and then she wants to be …

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Recently, Michael Schwartz, the chief of staff for Republican senator Tom Coburn of Oklahoma, said at the Values Voter Summit in Washington, D.C., “All pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards.” He continued: “If you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to go out and get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants.”

Let me rephrase this stupidity. Apparently, 11-year-olds hate to be gay, so if you can …

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Dear Dr. Matt
What do you do when your loved one puts your expensive wool items and cotton shirts in the dryer and they all come out ruined?  HELP!
-Laundry Disaster

When this question was first raised on the Dr. Matt fan page on the Facebook Internets, it sparked an interesting discussion between myself and one of my more beautiful fans.  Considering how hot Dr. Matt fans are, that’s really saying something.  However, the discussion was around what this guy should do or should have done, but since he’s not around, I think …

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Folks, I was talking to Loveleen, a friend of mine, who is a beautiful lesbian.  I don’t mean she’s beautiful for a lesbian.  I mean that she’s beautiful, and she’s also a lesbian. To me, this is like ice cream with both cookie dough and grated dark chocolate on top. Just a wonderful dish.

I was talking to Loveleen about something I’d heard on the radio. Some guy was talking about how he’d realized one day that anything someone does for ten years, they become an expert at. …

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I  was talking to two newlywed clients, Tom and Julie.  Tom and Julie had a problem.  You see, Julie had recently decided that she wanted to move to Spain.  She came to Tom one day and said, “This is what I want.”
This was a bit disturbing for Tom, because, for one, he was not fond of sangria.  But in general, it was such a major change from where they were living now that he felt a bit overwhelmed about it.  Julie had told him what part of Spain she wanted …

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Folks, for a while I’ve been meeting regularly with a guy who I’ll call Dean.  And by meeting with him, I mean he comes to my apartment/office, gives me money, and I tell him what to do.
Dean was down in the dumps.  You see, his girlfriend had just ended their relationship, which, by all accounts, had lots of great sex in it.  I wish I could tell you more, but there’s a little thing called client confidentiality.

So, naturally, Dean was grieving and missing what he enjoyed about that experience.  ”I …

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A while ago I talked about choice and freedom, calling them “somewhat important”.  Now, I figured you might know that I understate things, so if I say that something is “somewhat” important, then I fully expect some of you to tattoo that message somewhere on your body.  But, perhaps because you didn’t, it gives me an opportunity to talk about these two funny words.

Recently, I was talking to a client of mine that you would know by the alias, “Freddle Dolly-Parton McMannohaggonbaum.”  Remember him?  He was having issues with confidence. …

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Folks, I was having lunch with a colleague of mine who works in a similar field as I do.  That is, his business produces and sells magnetic bracelets for their healing properties, so we’re both in the fake health industry.  Jim was telling me about his latest relationship.  Now, Jim has only dated guys in the past, and many of his friends assume that means he’s only attracted to men.  But this latest relationship started with a female friend of his, and hence Jim’s dilemma.

You see, for a long time …

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My friend Roger and I were at the gym attempting to fulfill our New Year’s Promises, namely ones involving carrying less fat around the chin area.  We occasionally chit-chat, though not always.  I’d been in the treadmill zone for about ten minutes when he said, “So, Midgie is going to be speaking on Sunday.”  (Midgie is a mutual friend of ours who is as fun and interesting as her name sounds, and in the interest of full disclosure, someone that both Roger and I have made love to, but not at the …

A visitor to my Myspace page left this comment:
“Dear Dr. Matt,
I need a cure for heartache. What do you recommend?
BTW, the mustache is Sexy.”
Dear Girl Who Likes My Moustache (GWLMM – I’ll just call you Gollum to make it easier.),
I think you stumbled upon something that I detail in my book, that, often times, you already have the answer you’re looking for.
You see, you ask me about the cure for heartache, and then you made the offhand comment about my moustache. This is what I call a “dangler,” that is, …