Dr. Matt on “The Future”

Someone said to me today, “Dr. Matt, you’ve had so much success through television, films, and creating world peace, what’s next for you?”

I’ll tell you what’s NOT next for me: finding myself. I see all these people, especially chronic self-helpers, who decide that their task is “finding themselves.” Well guess what, bucko, you’re already found. Peekaboo, there you are. “Olly olly oxen free!” Boom. Found.

You see, folks, you don’t need to find yourself, you need to realize that you’re already found, and to accept the person who’s hiding behind that mulberry bush. See that person? That’s you. You may think it’s the neighbor kid, who constantly called you “Baby Tears” after you fell out of the tree that one time while trying to be Superman. But it’s not him, and we should never talk about him ever again.

It’s you. Now, I realize some of you may be saying, “But Dr. Matt, you said I was found, but you also said I was hiding behind a mulberry bush.” What I meant by this is that a mulberry bush is not really good cover. You THINK you’re hiding, but everyone can totally see you through that mulberry bush. Your self is right there, in the open, but you just haven’t accepted the fact that you’re not good at hide and seek. I realize this may be a little confusing, and I’ll once again state that I hate metaphors for this reason.

Stop “finding yourself” and start playing a different game. I don’t want to come up with a name for that game because it would involve more metaphors.

Just My Thoughts,
Dr. Matt*

*Dr. Matt is not a real doctor.

Dr. Matt

Dr. Matt* gives advice on relationships, life, death, half-life, pet ownership, sexuality, asexuality, proto-sexuality, and mustache growing. * Dr. Matt is not a real doctor.

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