Potential is Non-Transferable

Yesterday, I met with Dean, a really great guy that had gone through a lot of changes lately.  You may recall that a while ago a relationship ended for him.

Dean was struggling with letting go.  You see, you may also recall that the relationship provided him with some great sex, along with all the other stuff that goes with it: love, joy, passion, etc.  But the relationship had also provided partnership, friendship, and at one point, held the promise for Dean that there might be the opportunity for building a family.  In fact, he’d started to have dreams of a little boy, the child that, in Dean’s mind, had almost but never happened.

“I know I have to let go, Dr. Matt,” Dean was telling me.  “I know it’s not helping me to hold onto the past, but yet I keep finding myself doing it anyway.”

I rubbed my beautiful mustache, thinking for a moment.  “I think this is your problem, Dean,” I said.  “You’ve attached all of your potential to one other person in this universe.  In fact, I’d say attachment is one of your biggest struggles in general.”

“What do you mean?” he said.

“Well, take your work as an artist,” I said.  “You’ve told me before about how you’ve put that work on hold, or have been afraid to move forward without having a partner to work with.  You’re constantly looking for someone’s confidence to borrow, someone’s dream to live through.  That’s just stupid.”

“But, isn’t it okay to be inspired by someone?” he asked me.

I shrugged.  “Sure, but why not be the inspiration?  What you may not realize is that all that stuff you had in that relationship, you brought it there.  You brought joy, love, passion, and even the potential for family.  Which means that you still have all of it.  Sure, she brought those as well, and that’s why you loved her.  But she didn’t take any of your potential when she left; you still have all of it.  In fact, I’d say you gained even more potential from the experience.”

Dean still had some stubbornness left in him.  “What if I still love her?” Dean asked.

I threw my hands up.  “What if you do?  That just means you’re an awesome guy.  Heck, if I was gay and it wouldn’t be a horrible breach of ethics… Never mind that, Dean.  The point is that you bring your potential with you wherever you go.  So why try to keep taking it down a road that has a ‘No Entry’ sign on it?  Why not find the most natural and appreciative path for that potential, a path where that potential can be realized and you can create even more?”

I stroked my mustache again, thinking that it could use a light trimming, and added: “In fact, I don’t think that dream is about what you’ve lost at all.  I think the dreams of that little boy are about you, about the potential you now have, about what you’re now ready for in your life.”

Dean wiped some tears from his eyes and said, “Thanks, Dr. Matt.”  And then he thanked me again with some money.

That’s the thing about Dean.  Even without $300 he would be a great gift.

Just My Thoughts,
Dr. Matt*

* Dr. Matt is not a real doctor.

Dr. Matt

Dr. Matt* gives advice on relationships, life, death, half-life, pet ownership, sexuality, asexuality, proto-sexuality, and mustache growing. * Dr. Matt is not a real doctor.

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