You Deserve Gifts. No, really.

I’ve been getting lots of birthday wishes from my fans, which is absolutely great. Ya’ll are wonderful for everything you’ve sent me. I would say I don’t deserve it, but that’s just silly.

After all, why do we (and by we, I mean other people) feel the need to say on occasions such as these: “Oh thank you, I don’t deserve this.” To me, that’s the equivalent of saying “Thanks, but no thanks.” And folks, that’s just stupid.

I think what we mean is that we didn’t “earn” it. Our work ethic extends so far that it’s hard to be gracious when we receive gifts, even if those gifts are simply a few good words. We see no direct action on our part for which we are gifted. This is especially true on birthdays. I mean, really, all I did was I succeeded in not dying for yet another year. If gifts were based on actions, wouldn’t it be more appropriate for my parents to receive gifts on my birthday? I survived the gestation period, whoopdeedoo.

If we think in this way, we miss the point. Such gifts are not action based. In fact, very few gifts are. Most gifts come because there is something about us, something by the virtue of our very existence, that is enough for us to receive a gift.

This is not limited to gifts that other people give to us. Sometimes there’s a job that we want, or a new place to live, or some arbitrary sum of money. On some level, we see that it would be a gift to receive it. Often, we subsequently betray ourselves with this question: “But what have I DONE to DESERVE it?” Well, nothing, dummy. You don’t HAVE to do ANYTHING to deserve it. You exist, and that’s a good thing. Case closed. All you have to do is be gracious when the gift is given.

Therefore, I may act surprised when all of you send me a gift, but I know I truly deserve it, otherwise you would not have felt compelled to give.

If you’re still not sure what to get me, a Nintendo Wii will do. It’s, um, for my nephew.

Dr. Matt*

*Dr. Matt is not a real doctor.

Dr. Matt

Dr. Matt* gives advice on relationships, life, death, half-life, pet ownership, sexuality, asexuality, proto-sexuality, and mustache growing. * Dr. Matt is not a real doctor.

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