2008 is for Dr. Matt
Kids, I know what you’re thinking. It’s another year, it’s another time for resolutions and whatnot. Now, I’m sure I’d have a lot to say about resolutions, and whether or not you should have them, and how they’re likely stupid. But folks, sometimes you gotta set asides what’s stupid and what’s not stupid and just get into the spirit of things…
Okay, okay, you got me. I feel like I need to make up for some of my grumpiness during the Christmas holidays. Look, it wasn’t anything against you personally. It’s not because you’re particularly ugly or annoying; in fact, none of you is any more ugly or annoying than anyone else. So it’s really not that.
So let’s change things a bit. Let’s get back to the good-natured Dr. Matt you all know and love. The one you secretly hope has a crush on you, or that you may one day touch his hand. Oh, stop, stop… I’m just your humble friend, here to enjoy the next year with you. So what does Dr. Matt see in store for 2008? Well, I’m glad you asked.
Resolutions are Stupid
But, putting that aside, what are mine for the year of 2008? Let’s see…
- Become more famous
It’s good for you, it’s good for me. All around, win win. - …
Folks, I really can’t think of any beyond that. And really, it’s all tied together for what I want this year to be. The more I help you, the more you’ll let others know how I’ve helped, and the more I’ll be acknowledged for that. And that will bring additional income, success, praise, and book deals. And sometimes after that, I’m sure I’ll do one of those big huge impressive charitable things like Oprah or Bono. It’s a pretty awesome thing you can do when you’re super-famous, so for sure it’s on my list.
I’ve sort of been drinking straight since late Monday, so I think we’ll have to wrap it up there. Happy New Year to all my fans!
-Dr. Matt*
*Dr. Matt is not a real doctor.
