Brian, You’re Kind of a Dick
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Yesterday, I was sitting on a bench with Brian, a guy that I recently met up with to play racquetball. The community centre where I played had actually connected us, but so far I wasn’t totally enjoying Brian’s company, and he had a crappy backhand.
Anyway, Brian had been talking on and on about Jennifer, his ex-girlfriend. I had played Brian enough to know that Jennifer was a favorite topic of his.
“Can you believe it?” Brian said, shaking his head. “She breaks up with me, and then she wants to be friends with me. I told her my friends list was full, and I’d call her if someone dies.” He laughed at what he obviously considered to be a funny joke.
Just then, a cute young lady came up and asked if the court was free. Brian politely told her that we were done and it was available. The girl and her equally cute friend smiled and went into the court.
He turned back to me and smirked. “Yeah, anyway, can you believe that?”
I shook my head. “No,” I said. “I can’t believe that she wanted to be friends with you. Because, to be honest, you’re kind of a dick.”
Brian’s smile didn’t last. “What?” he asked me, startled.
“Brian, I don’t know Jennifer, but I know that she doesn’t deserve to be talked to that way.”
Brian scowled at me. “What are you talking about? Why should she deserve any better? She certainly didn’t end things in a way that was respectful to me.”
I turned and nodded towards the two beautiful young ladies swinging racquets on the other side of a glass wall. “Why were you nice to that girl when she came over?”
Brian looked confused. “What do you mean?”
“You were polite to her. Why?”
Brian shrugged. “Because, I don’t know, it’s just a nice thing to do.”
“Exactly,” I said. “How you treat someone has nothing to do with what they’ve done. It’s a reflection on who you are, not on who they are. The two girls could be running dog-fighting rings for all you know. But they haven’t done anything to you, so I guess for now they get off scot-free.”
“Hey!” said Brain, irate. “That’s not fair, Dr. Matt, you don’t know what Jennifer is like at all.”
“You’re right,” I said. “I don’t know what she did in the course of the relationship, other than the few things you’ve told me. I don’t know what she did to end it. I don’t know what was going on for her at the time. I know how good you think you were for her, but I don’t know how good you actually were as a partner. It’s true, I don’t know what she’s like. I only know what you’re like, Brian, and you, my friend, are kind of a dick.”
Brian stood up, grabbed his bag, said, “I don’t think we should be partners anymore,” and hurried off.
There was more I wanted to say to Brian, but it seems that being right was much more important to him than hearing a little truth. I’m without a partner to play with now, but somehow I think I might be better off. And I get the sense that Jennifer might be too.
Just My Thoughts,
Dr. Matt*
